Heinous Henchmen of Classic Horror #2

This second installment of the series features Morgan (Boris Karloff), a butler employed by the highly eccentric Femm family. The Femms live in an Old Dark House in a remote corner of Wales. 

On a dark and stormy night, two sets of travelers seek shelter from floods and landslides at the Femm mansion. One look at Morgan should have tipped them off that it was better to take their chances in their cars outside.

"Okay, it's a movie, 4 words, first word is..."

 

PERFORMANCE EVALUATION
BUTLER

Name:  Morgan           Date:   1932       

Supervisor:  Horace Femm              

Category	Unsatisfactory	Satisfactory	Excellent	Comment
Work Productivity		X		Morgan answers the door, cooks and serves food, and looks after the electrical generator.
Work Quality	X			When Morgan drinks too much he gets surly and violent; just the other night he upended the dinner table trying to get to a houseguest.
Communication/ Work Relationships	X			My sister and I constantly have to repeat ourselves; since the employee is mute, he can only grunt at us.
Initiative	X			The only time Morgan takes any initiative is when he is chasing one of the houseguests.
Dependability	X			We rely on the employee NOT to let our insane elder brother out of his room, but Morgan takes a perverse delight in freeing him from time to time.

Summary: Morgan is an uncivilized brute. Sometimes he drinks heavily. Dark and stormy nights set him going, and once he's drunk, he's rather dangerous.

Monster Trading Cards: Heinous Henchmen of Classic Horror #1

Back in May of this year I introduced my first set of virtual monster trading cards, featuring “Accidental Monsters of ‘50s Sci-fi and Horror.” I had a lot of fun creating that set, so, to celebrate the Halloween season, I decided to do a follow-up.

As every horror fan knows, it’s very hard work being a mad doctor or a blood-sucking count. There are bodies to dig up, lab equipment to move around, dusty dungeons to sweep up, and coffins to prepare for a well-earned rest. If you’re going to flout the laws of Man and God on a regular basis, you’re going to need a trustworthy, reliable henchman to sweat all the small stuff.

In most cases, we don’t get to see how the madmen or monsters recruited their henchmen -- they’re just there; ready, willing and able to do anything the master asks. Back in the classic monster era, it must have been much harder to get good help.

"Lift with your legs Fritz, not your back!"

Without recruiting sites like Monster.com or LinkedIn, they had to rely on word of mouth or at best, a few lines in the local paper’s classifieds.

Wanted: Blindly loyal assistant willing to work a variety of odd jobs, including digging, hauling heavy loads, cobweb clearing, and kidnapping. Must be comfortable working in the dark. No formal education required; utmost discretion essential.

Loyal horror henchmen did not have an easy time of it. They literally labored in the shadows, often sacrificing their sanity and/or their very lives for their masters.

So this Halloween season I’m giving them their due with a series of virtual “Heinous Henchmen of Classic Horror” cards with an added bonus -- a performance evaluation straight from Hell’s HR department.

PERFORMANCE EVALUATION
LAB ASSISTANT

Name:  Fritz           Date:   1931       

Supervisor:  Dr. Frankenstein              

Category	Unsatisfactory	Satisfactory	Excellent	Comment
Work Productivity		X		Fritz is very proficient with a shovel, and is able to scramble up tall gallows to cut down bodies.
Work Quality	X			The employee has problems with attention to detail; he recently brought back a criminal brain instead of a normal one.
Communication/ Work Relationships	X			Fritz is not an attentive listener, and he sometimes goes out of his way to antagonize the lab subjects.
Initiative		X		The employee has taken initiative to brighten up the castle with lit torches.
Dependability			X	Fritz' attendance is exemplary.

Summary: Fritz is reliable and proficient, especially when digging up things. He needs to work on his attention to detail and his relationships with the creatures I create in the lab.