Summer vacations aren't what they used to be. A number of unfortunate developments -- sky high fuel prices, increasingly severe weather, arbitrarily canceled flights, crumbling roads and infrastructure, ad nauseum -- have coalesced into a perfect storm that has blown away all the joy and relaxation of the vacation season and replaced it with anxiety and disappointment.
When I was a kid, road trips were all the rage. We'd stuff the station wagon full of luggage, games and picnic lunches and take off for the lake, or some attraction that was far enough away to feel exotic, but not so far as to let the delicate micro-ecosystem of the family break down.
In those days, disappointment was stopping to eat a boring picnic lunch instead of partaking of a real, sit-down restaurant. Today, it's being stranded at the airport at 2 am after your flight has been cancelled, with the food court long closed and nowhere to go.
If it's any consolation, the denizens of the sibling universe adjacent to our own, where monsters are the norm and not just an occasional aberration, also struggle with a variety of issues when they attempt to take hard-earned vacations. And sometimes the setbacks are truly humongous.
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| The Rhedosaurus was peeved that he was too tall for the Coney Island roller coaster. The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953). |
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| Godzilla had been looking forward all winter to a relaxing cruise, but was furious when he realized that the ship was way too small. Godzilla 2000 (1999) |
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| Gargantua cursed the slow-as-molasses TSA security line when he realized he had missed his flight. The War of the Gargantuas (1966) |
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| The 50 Foot Woman was so disappointed with her hotel accommodations, instead of trashing them on Yelp, she decided to just trash the hotel itself. Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958) |
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| Ebirah was outraged when he traveled all the way to Australia for a cookout, only to learn that the main course was shrimp on the barbie. Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966) |
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| Gorgo was looking forward to his first visit to the circus, until he discovered he was the main attraction. Gorgo (1961) |
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| The Colossal Man was sure he would win big in Vegas, but instead he lost his shirt. The Amazing Colossal Man (1957) |
Thanks, Brian, for including Mrs. Archer, the 50 Foot Woman!
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say, Mrs. Archer won't be going back to that hotel, but she was very gracious in sharing her story. Thanks for stopping by Bill!
DeleteThank you, Brian, for highlighting these poignant tales of vacation disasters and blighted holidays for the larger-sized among us. You really have to feel for these blown-up creatures and humans when their downtimes are spoiled by delays and misunderstandings. What's a hard-working behemoth to do?
ReplyDeleteIt just goes to show that being very big and very intimidating doesn't always pay off. No matter what your size, you can always empathize! (Hey, that sort of rhymes!)
DeleteBrian, I really enjoyed your take on summer vacations (or lack thereof). I do remember my dad driving the family in the station wagon to the seashore so he could rest and we could swim! And eat wonderful seafood, of course.
ReplyDeleteGorgo is one of my favorites. I saw it on television when I was a kid and still remember specific scenes from it. In fact, I saw it again on DVD recently, and I remembered the scenes exactly! Must have made quite an impression on me as a little one!
Thanks Marianne! Gorgo didn't play as much on my local stations as Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, The Giant Behemoth and Them!, but you're right, it has some of the most iconic and memorable scenes of all, and is poignant like the original King Kong (but with a happier ending for Gorgo of course!).
DeleteFun vacation-themed post! Those poor kaiju never catch a break, do they? That crack about the TSA really hit home, since my wife and I once nearly missed our connecting flight at Heathrow, due to an agonizingly slow security checkpoint (Heathrow security somehow made their TSA counterparts look competent by comparison).
ReplyDeleteHi Barry! It's funny you should mention Heathrow, as my one and only experience with that facility was almost as fraught. With apologies to my UK friends, that place is an ongoing disaster.
DeleteI can sympathize with these lovable monsters, as I had to spend a night at O'Hare Airport in Chicago a few years ago when my flight was cancelled due to the weather. I felt like tearing apart a few terminals myself!!! Great post, Brian!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Mike! I feel your pain - getting trapped at O'Hare must have been monstrously aggravating!
DeleteEven on vacation, the monsters can't catch a break. No wonder they are so grouchy.
ReplyDeleteThis homebody has no vacation travel trauma to deal with. My monstrous rage is building up at the office because I don't have any summer vacation days until mid-September this year! AAAARRGHHH!
That is indeed monstrously cruel to have to wait that long for vacation days! On the bright side, the monsters generally go back to work in September, so you're not likely to cross paths with them.
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